Well Christmas is once again only a week away. I can't believe how fast the year went. To me it always seems as if Christmas is coming right around the corner. Maybe that was in part to the fact that I spent 4 years living in Bethlehem, PA, where Christmas arrived somewhere in Mid October and didn't end until after the first of the New Year.
In the thinking about about the approach of Christmas and the end of 2009. I realize that this holiday season is an indicator of an entire year, that for me was a year of transition and change. These changes, I won't classify as positive or negative, because as I sit here typing, I have begun to see and understand that there is a reason for these changes, even if I don't know what that is. (Yet)
Really when I talk about changes I'm talking about significant events that have impacted my life in the past year on an emotional and spiritual level.
This past June, my one and a half year relationship ended, in what I initially thought was rather sudden. This took a dramatic emotional toll on me for a long time. I kept asking myself what if I did this and what if I did that. Well, having allowed myself to clear my head, I have to bring everything back to a spiritual place, to take it to God and leave it in his hands. I couldn't see that is what was happening when the relationship was ending, but God's will has become clear albeit a little bit late.( On my part. not God's) While I struggled through some pain and emotion that I had never felt before, that to has served a purpose in that I have felt and had the privlage of experiencing love and know that's a place I want to get back to.
There were two other events that took place this year which contributed to my year of transition. My continued employment at ASI has extended beyond a year, which to me is full of mixed emotion. As my original plan to be in PA by this point has fallen to the wayside, the job itself a possible contributing factor. However, in the season where so many are struggling to make ends meet and to find employment I feel blessed to be in the ranks of the employed. Working in this position, has unfortunately pulled me away from church and for the past year I've not been very good about finding alternative options to quench my spiritual thirst. I'm praying for the will to discern and choose a way fulfill some of my spiritual need.
As this Christmas seasons fast approaches I look forward to spending time with family and friends in fellowship. I hope if your reading this the season finds you well! Merry Christmas!
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